[Ph!GR] Asura’s Wrath

Asuras Wrath

I had a lot of Tagline ideas for this one… So, uh… Here you go.

Because screw physics.

Liam O’Brien, we need to stop meeting like this.

Who exactly do gods pray to?

The only game where fighting a giant red elephant is considered “normal”.

Press X to not die.

And finally…

I could take Asura on.   

So, how about them Mets? Wuzzat? They suck at baseball? I never watch dat crap. I’ve been too busy playing Asura’s Wrath to be watchin’ pathetic wimpy babies hitting a ball with a stick. I’d much rather be watchin’ freaking demi-gods punching lightning death rays into space and yelling a whole lot. That’s what happens in Asura’s Wrath. I’m telling you that for a reason.

So here’s what goes down.

Asura is a real angry dude. And he is betrayed by his friends. That makes him angry. Angry dude + anger= problems… anger problems.

Basically the story of Asura’s Wrath is based off Japanese mythology revolving around the seven deities. Which are basically the seven deadly sins… That seems kind of backwards. The gods they’re based off seem like some happy folk. Why dey so bad? You got pride, wrath, greed and violence (That’s not one. It replaces Gluttony… Well the violence guy is pretty fat. So I guess I’ll let it slide.) They took some liberties with the source material.

Here’s the story. There are the Eight Guardian Generals which are basically just the Seven Deities and Asura who fly around in space and kill the Gohma. They’re the bad guys. I guess if I had to describe the Gohma I would use the terms oversized black, red-veiny animals that are bad people. The Eight Guardian Generals use the power of “mantra” and something called the Kama Sutr- nope nope. Wrong thing. Brahmastra to kill the Gohma. Mantra is basically prayers from mortals, except they use it as gasoline or something because it powers all their machines. Don’t dwell on how stupid that sounds, it’s a Capcom game. So the Eight Guardian Generals are floating around Gaea shooting up all the Gohma with their mantra and Brahmastra,(Lost? Yeah, me too.) When all of a sudden a wild Vlitra appears! Vlitra is the biggest Gohma and he she it is bad, its badness level is literally immeasurable. That’s pretty freaking bad. So, the Eight Guardian Generals decide to fire off the Brahmastra but apparently they don’t have enough mantra. They do it anyways and the battle is won. They return home and Asura goes back to his wife. He’s all like “Hey honey.” And she all “Welcome home baby.” WAIT! TWILIGHT SPARKLE, you get out of this game. Wait. His wife is played by Tara Strong? Gee, I hope she’s in this game lots. Oop, she dead. Asura is framed for the murder of the emperor and his wife is killed and his daughter is kidnapped because she’s good at praying and summoning Mantra. Then Asura dies… Poor guy. He wakes up 12,000 years later on Gaea (That’s earth, bee tee dubs.) And then the Seven Deities show up to smack him around. But he remembers that they killed Twilight Sparkle and some girl and goes all super saiyan on them. That’s the story.

And here’s the gameplay. The gameplay is set into three different playstyles. There’s your standard fighting type where you’re in a small arena, there are on rail shooter sections where you fly through space and take down giant space crabs or whatever. And the Quick Time Events. Hate Quick Time Events? Too bad, you’ll be doing a lot of those. I guess maybe I should take this time to explain that I don’t hate QTE’s I actually kind of enjoy them. If you can be expecting them. Most games do them wrong by throwing them into the middle of cut-scenes when you put the controller down and start adjusting your pants. Hey, it happens to the best of us. The way this game does QTE’s is by having you activate them after building up the “Burst Bar” by dealing enough damage to any enemies you come in contact with. It’s also the only way to advance.

So as for the game as an experience… Well, it’s a little weird for an amount of reasons. The story is weak, the characters are all crazy and the voice acting’s less than superb. Actually, the majority of Asura’s dialogue is yelling and grunting. Something Liam O’Brien seems to be very proficient at.

At the end of the day it’s all about what you want out of a game. Do you want a game that makes Dragon Ball Z look like My Little Pony? Then I could probably recommend Asura’s Wrath. Do you want a game that takes time to tell a good story with a deep and powerful payoff? Then play Walking Dead you scrub. Actually just go play Walking Dead. ‘s a good game. So is Asura’s Wrath, but for completely different reasons.

On a scale from something logical and sane to something strawberry top hats. Asura’s Wrath gets a very loud yell followed by something flying 600 miles that way.

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